2012

last day on 2012! oh my God! I know I said it like thousand times, but yeah, future is always scary for meee!

But as others, I want to learn every lesson I've got this year. And also, I'll make a to-do-list for 2013. First of all, I want to apologize to everybody for.. I don't know, maybe I was being such a pill orrrr I was just react as exactly I should, because you're being such a pill all the time. kidding. I'm kidding when I say kidding. haha mindblowin.

I know I've changed. I mean seriously, idk since when, but I have bad temper. I am not used to be like that, I swear. yeah, I don't like me either. I suddenly have this giant ball of negative emotions that perhaps had been buried in me after all this time, and when someone put a needle on it, BAM. haha. On my defense, I really felt some people were being very very annoying. Not to mention, kinda stupid. *omg, that sounds so evil, fenny*

My other explanation is, I don't have things I used to have. I am far away from my family. College is keeping me busy, and I meet the same people all the time, which make me sick of it. I don't even have enough me-time. Fyi, I love to be alone. First, when you're alone, you can do anything you want, without anybody gives unnecessary comments. Second? well, I'm kind of a social awkward haha. Let's just call it wallflower.

I remember once, when I was in the high school, my heart was broken because this one guy (I was teenager, you know) and it made me sad at school. But the when I got home, things got better. Sharing stories and laughter with mom and sisters, always make me feel better. Love is always there. Now? I don't know how to make things better everytime I get tired of college routines. I feel blue. I feel alone, not in the way I like.

The good news is, I'll be home soon. ok, not very soon. January 21st, to be exact. And I hope I will be the girl I used to be :)

By the way, I made a playlist for you haha. It's just that I am now a fan of Ed Sheeran, and I just want you to listen to his song. This song, The A Team, is about a girl with drugs (looks like it's crystal meth) and then she died (what is wroooong with me). hahaha. I picked a Christmas song as well, O holy night by Lea Michelle. Incredibly beautiful :) Another song from Glee Cast is Here's to us. Perfect song for fixing all of this. Aaand, I dreamed a dream by Anne Hathaway!! She has a nice voice! Ok, enjoy it ;)

P.S: "Sometimes being alone gives you space to grow." -Mariz