What if I could make it?

ah, here I am, again, and realize how much I love writing more than ever. Of course, there's still some parts that grammatically error, but screw that. I love writing in English, because it just.. sounds better. haha.

well, I've just bought myself dinner. And when I was waiting for my order, a stranger - an old man started a conversation with me. Didn't really surprise me, though, because I think most of old people like to talk.

So, each of us sat on a chair, and he asked me about college stuff, and I said that I study Industrial Engineering. He said "oh, Industrial Engineering?" At first, I thought he was from Industrial Engineering, too, and he felt nostalgic, which is actually made me feel good about it, but it turned out when he said that his children, 3 of them, studied Industrial Engineering, aaand he said none of them employed. And I was like "What?" but only in my mind.

I can see disappointment in his eyes, which made me feel bad. He said "the 2 daughters became housewives." And I didn't brave enough to ask about his son, so I just nodded. He also told me he lived here for 30 years, and he is 70 (or maybe more, I don't know). In the end of the conversation, he had to go, and I watched him walking very very slowly, although he looks healthy. (he reminded me of Mr. Black and or Grandpa Thomas).

it just hit me, I am 18, and he is 70, which means he has experienced life (almost) 4 times longer than me. And I felt a little bit shame of my life, because, after all this time, I didn't really achieved something (or did I?).


but last night (what a coincidence!) I have figured out my dream! the only thing that I really want to achieve, so badly. and I could feel it's so closed to me. I know I can make it comes true, if I work hard enough.
I can't tell you yet, but I will tell my Mom soon. Before I tell you, I have to do something first, so... wait for it. hahah.

I am nervous. I am scared. Maybe that's how it feels like when you about to make your dream comes true. You feel both excited and nervous when you think about it. Your heart keeps pounding. What if I could make it? What if not?

I will keep trying. I want to make my unborn child proud of me. And of course my parents. I want to be old (someday) and not feeling regret.

Wish me luck! :)

and oh, I found this super cute picture and I want to share it to the world: